Preparing for my heart to break

So tomorrow morning we have our second appointment at Great Ormond Street and as much as I'm looking forward to having the rest of my questions answered I'm also dreading it.

Our nurse Pippa called me this morning to see how I was and explained what will happen tomorrow - we will be having a tour of intensive care. As much as I know it's going to help in the long run, knowing what to expect when it's our little girls turn, I know it's going to break my heart seeing other families and their babies in there. 

I'm really hoping they can tell me their plans for her birth tomorrow, it's horrible not knowing whether she's going to need to be born early or not. We should also find out what operations she's going to need and when - at the moment all we know is that it will be before she's 5 months old.

After our appointment at GOSH we then have to rush to the Royal London Hospital for them to check my heart. They found that I have a heart murmur at the heart and lung check so I've been referred to a high risk clinic. I've not been told much so not sure what to expect tomorrow. 

I'm hoping to get an early night tonight as I'll be up first thing tomorrow to make sure Teddy has everything ready for the day - my mum will be looking after him and I'll have to be on the train for 9am.

I have a feeling I won't get much sleep though, I have way to much on my mind!

XxX