Open Heart Surgery

I haven't written a post in so long, partly because everything had been going so well there wasn't really much to write in update posts..but also because as her operation got closer I'm finding it more and more difficult to talk about it. 

We found out a couple of weeks ago that Harpers surgery will be the 21st of May, she will be exactly 11 months old. We will have to travel up to Great Ormond Street the day before for her pre assessment which we are told will last around 4 hours. We will get a chance to speak with the surgeon and have all our questions answered.

We don't know how long the operation is likely to take, how long her recovery time is expected to be or what exactly they are planning on doing with her heart. We have a rough idea as we know she needs to end up with two chambers at the top instead of her one large one but they've haven't yet explained how they will do it.

We have very kindly been given accommodation from the pre assessment day until Harper comes out of intensive care, when one of us can then stay on the ward with her. It means leaving Teddy which I'm really worrying about as he never stays away and when he has it hasn't been for more than a couple of nights. The last time he did was when Harper was in hospital at Christmas and he ended up really distressed. I'm praying that this time as he's a little older that he'll be okay. He'll be staying with my mum just a few stops away from GOSH.

I'm finding that I'm coping better by trying to forget about it and pretend it's not happening but the closer it's getting it's becoming harder to ignore. I've always been the one that's been fine to talk about Harper's condition and have thought I was strong in some ways as I've always seen the positives and have always known she would be okay. But now that we only have 2 weeks left I've become a wreck..the thought of what she's going to go through breaks my heart, I know we've been extremely lucky with Harper, Heterotaxy is so complex and affects every child differently..Harpers being on the 'better' end of the scale, but I can't help feeling so unlucky right now. We should be excited planning our little girls 1st Birthday, instead I'm finding myself praying that she's going to be okay. 

She is the happiest, most loving baby ever. My little fighter, I'm so proud to be her Mummy xXx